Wicked Weez of the West

To detox, or not to detox, that is the question…

Well, it’s not really the question in this case, but I’m completely exhausted so it’s the best quote thing I could come up with. Apologies.

OK. So I managed to complete three days, that’s 72 hours, on this detox without eating solid food. My only intake was the sugared-lemon water (it really was sickly sweet), and the occasional peppermint tea and fresh juice. The detox guide suggests optimum “results” will be achieved by maintaining the fast for at least 5 days, if not 7 or 10. I think I could have gone another two days, but my body did not feel right, so I stopped it there.

Yes, I realise the tone in that last paragraph indicates perhaps negative connotations, and that’s partly correct. Despite feeling horrid for most of the time, there were several good things to come out of this detox/cleansing diet:

1. It felt like a much easier way to go cold turkey on a few vices - caffeine, sugar etc. I’ve given up both of those before (caffeine for a week, sugar for two months), and it is very difficult to resist your usual temptations when you’re still eating and drinking everything else you normally would. But seeing as I wasn’t allowed any food whatsoever, I didn’t even notice I was missing out on those two things either.
2. I am now commencing a healthier eating regime, which I hope to continue for a while. Prior to this detox, I had been eating way too much cheese, and food in general. So from now on, I’ll be minimising (if not excluding) my intake of: dairy, wheat, meat (obviously), sugar, caffeine, alcohol and processed foods. I acknowledge that starting a detox or diet change before going on holidays is probably not the smartest thing to do, but if I can set some boundaries now, at least it will make it easier to not overindulge on everything whilst I’m away. And when I return, I plan on making this a weekday effort, but allowing myself the weekend to enjoy a double espresso, or perhaps a glass of wine (or two) with dinner.
3. One of the most significant things to have come from the abstinence of food, is the clearing up of one of my skin conditions. I have a rash/fungus thing over my stomach and back (sexy, yes?). It’s similar to eczema in that the skin flakes off (almost like dandruff), but it’s different at the same time. Anyhoo, at least now I can ascertain that it is caused by my diet. In the past, I’ve seen a naturopath about the condition as well. And it did improve after taking herbal supplements & drops, and applying topical cream, but once I stopped that program, it returned. So now all I have to do is figure out exactly what is causing it to flare up! Simple…

Some other minor improvements were that I lost 2Kg, plus my hair isn’t as oily as it usually is. I normally wash it every two days, but on the second day it really didn’t need a wash.

Do I consider this a success? All in all, I don’t consider it a complete failure (due to the above points), so by default, yes.

Would I do it again? Highly unlikely.

Would I recommend this detox to you? I wouldn’t tell you not to do it, but I wouldn’t encourage it either. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if you think this could benefit you at all. I’m sure the same results could be achieved by seriously altering your diet to include only fresh, healthy, unprocessed foods. Plus that starving feeling is not pleasant in the slightest!

And after a full day of eating normally again, I’m feeling great. A little tired from not quite enough sleep, but other than that, I feel energised and happy. It also might have something to do with the fact I’m exercising again after a 6 month hiatus - I played in a band, and practice was on the same night as dance classes, so I’ve finally gotten back into that routine again over the past three weeks.

But I could do with a coffee. I really miss that high…

Ugh. My morning slumber was interrupted several times by urgent trips to… let’s just say, I felt completely cleansed now, and won’t be needing that senna tea anymore :/

Not the best start to the day, but again, I found myself surprised that I wasn’t feeling hungry. I had a few things I needed to do today - having morning tea with a co-worker, and picking up some outdoor furniture - so at least I would be somewhat distracted. I had a glass of the mixture, and half a glass of fresh orange juice, and ventured to the first outing of the day, where I had a pot of peppermint tea.

Well, tea and computer noob work colleagues can only distract you for so long. It was getting close to 1pm, and I started feeling not so good. Really tired. Slight headache. Feeling vague, and almost confused. Found it hard to type without making mistakes (that sentence alone had 4 typos). But I still didn’t feel hungry. I guess my body had become used to not eating solids.

After sitting in the sun, reading for a hour, I had to tend to the second errand of the day - picking up an outdoor setting from a friend who is moving interstate next month. But once I started moving around, and busying myself again, I started to feel a bit better. Slightly tired still, but not quite as horrid as before. Moved the furniture back home, and had to head out again to feed the kids (cat & dog). And from somewhere, I managed to find the energy to take the dog for a walk!

But still, something felt not quite right. I felt… slow. And by now, I had made up my mind that I would end the fast tonight. I’m sure I could not eat food for a while longer, but I didn’t feel completely normal. And I had a full day of work the next day, which I honestly couldn’t see myself coping with - I didn’t think the concentration levels would be anywhere near where they needed to be. Plus, Tuesday nights I have dance class, and I didn’t want to risk passing out from exercising.

It was interesting how calm I felt, and how good my mood became when I acknowledged I would be eating again. And yet again, I still didn’t feel hungry. I definitely think your body switches to a coping mechanism/survival mode when it’s put under that kind of stress. I’m not saying it’s a good/healthy thing to do to yourself, but at least I know what my body is capable of (and probably more) if the need should ever arise.

When coming off the fast, I figured it would be best to gradually introduce solid foods again, and as I already had the ingredients for broccoli & potato soup, that’s what would be made. I took my time preparing the food. I really wanted to enjoy this experience as I had honestly missed the rituals involved with cooking and eating food. So as I approached the 72nd hour of the fast, I served myself up a small bowl of soup, and relished every last spoonful

I woke this morning after 10 hours sleep, feeling much better than when I went to sleep the night before. I had a slight headache, which was quickly resolved after a few glasses of water and some senna tea. I noticed a slight muscle ache in my calves, but I put that down to the amount of walking I did yesterday at the Show. Prepared the day’s mixture, and set about trying to distract myself with whatever I could.

I was quite surprised that the hunger pangs didn’t start until mid-afternoon. But they got progressively worse, so I ventured to a reliable supermarket and bought some fresh juice (orange/carrot/ginger) to try and alleviate the feeling.

Some friends had organised a games night, which I was really looking forward to, but my energy levels had dropped considerably throughout the day. Nevertheless, I managed to get myself there and was OK for a while. They had put out some food, which wasn’t a huge temptation to see, but once I got a whiff of the rice crackers (one of my favourite snacks!), I started to feel really uncomfortable. I tried to distract myself by playing games, but the few who were playing had to limit our excitement because the others were recording a podcast. All in all, it wasn’t that successful. My insides felt like they wanted to be outsides, and I needed to rest.

I’d definitely been expending more energy than I had reserves for, so when the opportunity arose, I brought myself home feeling somewhat despondent. By this stage, I was on the verge of breaking the detox and having something to eat. I knew had some veg in the fridge I could steam if I felt the urge, but by the time I got home, a cup of organic peppermint tea seemed to placate me enough.

I reasoned with myself that, if I felt the need, I would have something to eat for either lunch or dinner the next day. So with this on my mind, I went to bed.

I woke on day 1 hungry, as I usually do most mornings. This detox/cleansing/rejuvenation suggests you drink senna tea (a mild laxative) last thing at night, and first thing in the morning before drinking the mixture. So I did as instructed, and wasn’t feeling too bad a few hours in.

I had quite a big day planned today, as I was taking my nephew to the Royal Show with a friend and his daughter. It probably wasn’t the best thing to do, starting a restricting detox, when you would be surrounded by very temping food - doughnuts, fairy floss (cotton candy), barbecued corn - but I didn’t give into temptation once. By late afternoon, I had developed a headache. I put this down to three factors: 1) I was wearing a headband, 2) listening to the delightful musings of an energetic 5yo boy for 4 hours, and 3) lack of food. And I had started to feel a little hungry by now.

Whilst on the detox, it is permissible to drink peppermint/cammomile/rosehip tea, or a freshly squeezed citrus juice if you feel the need, so I had some organic peppermint tea, but it didn’t seem to have much effect. After taking my nephew home, I decided to distract myself by watching TV. I caught up with the new Fringe, and the latest Survivor. I was really exhausted by this stage, and I think I may have briefly fallen asleep on the couch around 8pm.

By now, my headache was much worse, and my stomach was really protesting at its lack of food. I had resolved that I would get some sleep, and reassess the situation in the morning. I saw no point in putting myself under such duress if it wasn’t necessary. If I still felt horrid when I woke up, I would eat some food - probably fruit - and carry on with the detox in the “relaxed” version. This is where you maintain intake of the cleansing mixture, eat a diet consisting mainly of raw veg/fruit/pulses etc. and exclude foods including: meat, dairy, sugar, salt, caffeine, alcohol and processed foods.

Time will tell.

On the whole, I’d say I was a relatively healthy person. I’ve been vegetarian for 16 years (although I ate chicken again from ages 17 to 22), so that puts me in good stead for eating well. I love my veg (with the exception of mushrooms), but my biggest downfall is that I eat too much. Although I eat mostly good foods, overeating puts a huge strain on your system and internal organs. And after a recent relationship breakdown, I found myself turning to food for comfort, and often my biggest weakness - cheese.

Recently, I’d been contemplating colonic irrigation to help give my system a good clean out (which I may still do afterwards). Then about two weeks ago, a colleague at work had started the lemon detox diet. I was majorly skeptical, as the main criteria of this detox is that you don’t eat solid food, but drink a concoction of Madal Bal syrup, fresh lemon juice & water. That’s just seems insane, especially to someone who can’t ignore their tummy when it’s begging for food. I received daily updates as to her progress: day 2 seemed to be the worst for her - feeling cold, headaches etc. But by day 3, she couldn’t believe how good she felt. “Jumping out of my skin. Sleeping better than I ever have before. Loads of energy, with heaps of concentration and focus”, is how she described it.

I was intrigued to say the least.

So I did some research and remembered back to something I’d read many years ago about fasting. That the body can survive with not eating for a few days, and that it’s good to give your system a break every now and then (hence the term: breakfast). And despite having reservations that I couldn’t cope with not eating, I decided to give this a go. I ordered the starter kit and waited for it to arrive, and finally on Friday, it did.

So I ate my last meal (yummy Japanese), prepared enough mixture for the next day, drank some senna tea, and went to bed.

Did I think this was going to be a miracle cure? No.

Was I expecting to lose heaps of weight? No.

Did I believe I could actually not eat food for a few days? No.

Did I think this would be a good way to kick start my body, and help me focus on good eating habits again? Yes.

May I point out that many concerned friends have already voiced their opinions as to the ludicrous nature of this detox, and although I value their opinion, and appreciate their concern, I know my body well enough to know exactly how far I can push it, and when enough is enough.

I’ve liked the idea of having my own personal blog for many years, but never got round to actually setting one up. So I decided that my one and only resolution this New Year, was to start a proper blog (yes I realise it’s already September, but the year’s not over so it still counts). I use a Tumblog for interesting links, photos and videos, but it’s not quite substantial enough for writing en mass, and I wanted to dedicate this blog to thoughts alone. Down the track, this may change, but that’s my intention for now

So. First post, eh? I’m presuming most of you reading this already follow me on one or more social networks, so you’d probably have a good idea of who I am. And although I have posted this before, it’s probably a good way to start for those who don’t know a thing about me.

I present you with a list of 100 random things about me:

1. I am 28 (subject to change) - update: I am now 29
2. I am female (this will never change)
3. I have lived in Perth all my life
4. I am vegetarian
5. Mushrooms are not my favourite thing
6. I’m a very proud Taurean
7. I’m addicted to cheese
8. Numbers make me nice
9. Man + man = hot
10. I have a new found love for pole dancing (and my own pole)
11. I have psoriasis (and other random skin conditions)
12. My left foot is 1cm longer than my right
13. My left leg is ½cm shorter than my right
14. I have always been good at maths
15. When I grow up, I want to be a fag hag
16. I love cows and hope to own one one day (I will call her Mildred)
17. I enjoy all sorts of games
18. I love to win
19. I’m terribly competitive
20. Pirates rock
21. Ninjas hold their own
22. Blackjack is my favourite casino game
23. Is my number
24. I enjoy taking surveys/tests/quizzes
25. Topical cream is the answer for most problems
26. Beer is the answer for all other problems (thank you Homer Simpson)
27. I love me
28. Stupid people make me angry (and sad)
29. I have many OCD tendencies
30. My way is the right way
31. I know stuff about a lot of things
32. I can’t sleep if I’m cold
33. 3 ply anything is wrong
34. I put mascara on with my mouth closed
35. I can crack every joint in my body, including my chest
36. I love dancing
37. The only magazine I pay to read is Marie Claire
38. I love cooking and baking (and feeding others)
39. I could live on popcorn alone
40. My cat is totally in love with me (why wouldn’t she be?)
41. I’m totally in love with Madagascan vanilla body butter (smells like heaven)
42. I love sneezing
43. I always sneeze twice
44. I like using random words like craptacular and awetastic (thanks Chris)
45. Other words I like: minions, tutelage, ombudsman, cacophony, plethora
46. Me + napping = bad
47. I am an attention whore (thank you interweb)
48. I have two tattoos - Taurus symbol right hip, aum symbol back of my neck
49. My favourite body parts are my shoulders and butt
50. I am a recycling Nazi
51. I love everything Japanese, and can’t wait to go back to Japan one day
52. I have a penchant for rules and order
53. I walk with purpose
54. I hate people who use the phrase, “thanking you”
55. I can be bossy sometimes
56. I eat bocconcini by peeling off layers
57. I’ve had my wisdom teeth out
58. Give me a camera, and I’m snap-happy
59. I’m somewhat geeky
60. I know pi to 20 places 30 places and counting
    
61. Scented toilet paper is horrible - if I wanted to put perfume on my twat, I would
62. I’ve been a Brownie and a Girl Guide
63. I blush easily
64. I can play the flute
65. I have been on a TV game show (and won!)
66. I have contemplated a career in law enforcement
67. I am the game police, and I have a badge to prove it
68. I can recite the first 20 elements of the periodic table
69. I have a weakness for blondes
70. Backs, shoulders and necks are sexy
71. A little bit of bone is nice (hips and ribs)
72. I’ve taken: gymnastics, tennis, ballet, dance, tap, ice skating, & karate lessons
73. I always take my makeup off before going to bed
74. My favourite condiment is horseradish cream
75. I like long movies
76. I love MAC Lustreglass, and Lancome Juicytubes lipglosses
77. I love sunsets, even though they make me sad
78. My favourite colours are silver & purple
79. I went to an all girls high school
80. I never got the whole “horse/pony” thing
81. I think marriage and religion are outdated traditions
82. I use sarcasm too much (really?)
83. I’m a picker - scabs, pimples, grammar, pronunciation
84. I hate being tickled - it’s like torture
85. I smirk a lot
86. I like pulling things apart
87. I like putting things back together
88. I can never turn down a dare
89. I’ve had my tonsils removed
90. I have a penis-shaped osteochondroma in my right hip socket
91. I have only broken one bone, the little toe on my right foot
92. I love gambling
93. I have amazing hearing
94. My nicknames: Weez, Weezie, Lu, Lulu, Lulu Belle, Louisiana, Lubachoo, Lolly
95. One day I will apply to MENSA
96. My favourite vegetable is red capsicum
97. I can burp the alphabet
98. It’s all about me
99. It’s always about me
100. If it’s ever about you, consider yourself lucky